The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
