What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
