If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
