I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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