I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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