Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
