just tell him i said nine months
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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