Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
