WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize