What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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