fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
