I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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