just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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