piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize