Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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