I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
