I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
