Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They took my balls.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize