I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
