My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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