Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just pee around me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
