This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
