Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
