I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The best revenge is premature balding
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
