i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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