were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
