guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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