if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
