dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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