I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
