When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
