When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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