If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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