So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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