Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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