Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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