Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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