You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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