Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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