I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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