What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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