A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
