ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Never underestimate the power of titties
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
