so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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