Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
