He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
