I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize