I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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