porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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