If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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