is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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