ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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