You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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