Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
