who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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