Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
