You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
