U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
