I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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