the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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