I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i think i just lost a toe
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
