Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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