I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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