Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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