sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come share oat with me in your robe
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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